Thursday, January 15, 2009

Walking After You...

I am tired. Yet I lack the ability to "sleep when he sleeps," during the day at least. I know that this part is going to get better. I know that he will eventually just sleep right through the night. For now, the adrenaline has worn off and you have one worn out mom on your hands. This is all hindering my attempts at pumping. For the last several nights I've barely been able to keep my eyes open while doing the middle of the night feedings let alone keeping them open even longer to pump. I've been pumping less and less, and I'm just about ready to throw my hands in the air and call it quits.

The worst part? I don't want to talk about it. At ALL! Husband tried to address the topic last night when he came to bed and I nearly took his head off with a bat. For some reason I hadn't been able to go to bed in the first place, so having this conversation at 2am probably wasn't helping. After fighting about it for a bit, I decided to cut off my nose to spite my face and left the room. I spent 1/2 an hour making bottles of formula, and then spent another 20 minutes pumping. By then it was 3am and time to feed, change and put Mike back to bed.

Staying up until almost 4am is never a good idea for a new mom, I have decided. I really really really needed to sleep today, but Mike was having an off day, and would only sleep for about 45 minutes before he'd wake up crying for one reason or another.

This breast milk thing is such an emotional subject for me. I always said I'd never beat myself up over it - that as long as Mike is getting fed I'm good. Anyway, husband and I were able to discuss the topic today, and I've decided to give it my all while I'm on maternity leave, and then switch completely to formula at that point (and not beat myself up over it).

And in happier news, husband and I gave little dude a bath tonight and it didn't go too badly. According to most sources, it is only necessary to bathe infants once a week, but I can't wait for his belly button to finish healing so we can give him a "real" bath. I have a feeling it will be a fun evening ritual that will help get Mikey to sleep at night.

From Tummy Time - 2w2d