Thursday, September 23, 2010

{first day of fall}

The last day of summer was not such a terrible day. It was muggy, but not too hot (thank you to whatever tropical storm system sloughed off a day of rain on us) so Mikey and I were able to wander over to the park so he could burn off some energy. Unfortunately, there was a mean little dog in attendance as well - and while the dog wasn't large, it still had teeth, and Mikey being unable to resist all things on four legs was not about to let those teeth deter him from petting the dodgey (aka, doggie). So, while the little girl with the dog attempted to drag off the rabid fido to one corner of the park, I attempted to corral my little dude to the monkey bars. It wasn't happening. I bargained with Mikey, and we agreed that we would just go home and pet our own sweet dodgey, Sammie. Except I forgot that the pest control company had been out earlier in the day to spray, and our back porch was infested with angry insects fleeing the chemical warfare inflicted upon them earlier. *sigh*

Mikey was not thrilled that his bargained backyard time ended up being "inside" time afterall, and he demonstrated his displeasure by burying his face in a corner near the front door and crying loudly (have you ever cried into a 90 degree angle? It tends to amplify sound...) "owshide, owshide, owshide." Poor dude. The obesity epidemic that is plaguing our country and I have the nerve to deprive my toddler of "owshide" time.

At that point, I was running out of time to attend to the errand that I was dreading most - facing the bank I was none to pleased with in order to finally have the levy lifted from our account. As it turns out, the Department of Revenue faxed a letter to our bank stating that the levy was issued in error, it was their fault, and to please please pretty please with sugar on top waive any fees that were assessed as a result of said mistaken levy. The branch manager I spoke with was reasonable, agreed that the fee should be waived, and said that she was pretty sure the waive would be granted (it was up for review). The only problem is that while the bank DID receive the letter from the dept of revenue stating that the levy was an error, they still haven't received a copy of the actual release, so the funds are still on hold in our account. But but but - I haven't given up yet. Left a message with the only human working at the Dept of Revenue and asked her to please refax the form. Assuming the bank gets it this morning, everything should be resolved today. I was feeling appeased and allowed the banker to upsell me on a cash back rewards debit card (to replace the one they cancelled). Of course, because I am merely his wife, Josh still has not had his card replaced because "Oh, yeah, he has to come in and do it himself."


I left the bank feeling almost vindicated, and in a pretty decent mood, so I transferred that to Mikey and decided that since I had deprived him of "owshide" time earlier, I would give him an extra long bath! Yeah - the kid is whacky and loves bath time - which is great because he is forever getting covered in muckity muck. Getting him out of the bath is an entirely different matter - he won't leave! 45 minutes in, the water was approaching cool, and I had to pretend the drain was broken and the water was "leaking" out. Oh noes! Oh noes! The bath is broken - the water ran away, here get in this towel.

After Mikey went to bed, I was treated to a delicious spaghetti dinner by my darling husband, and dessert was Criminal Minds and Chelsea Lately.

Not a bad day for the last day of summer. Not at all. Now, Summer, since you were a total jerk and showed up WEEKS before you were scheduled to arrive on the calendar, could you be a dear and get with the program and take a hike?

Monday, September 20, 2010

{half baked}

Today I have officially reached the halfway mark in my pregnancy. The pregnancy I shall forever remember as the summer in AZ which turned into a fiery hellish inferno of ridiculous heat in September. Seriously people, the highs last week were INSANE! On my way back from the West Valley yesterday afternoon, the temps on my car registered at 112. Granted, it was only 108 outside, but for effs sake, AZ, give me a frickin' break! This morning at 5am it was a nice breezy 90 degrees outside. Nothing I love more than perspiration at the crack of dawn.

And I know, bla bla bla, AZ is great 9 months out of the year, quit yer' complaining. No. No no no. AZ is not great 9 months out of the year. Not to me. Not sure what my parents were thinking moving us here 22 years ago. It is HOT. It hits the 90's in April and doesn't relent until some time in October. So, in my book, AZ is UGLY 7 months out of the year.

If I were a smarter person, I would have gone to an out of state school - at least then I could justify the absurd amount I owe in student loans. And then maybe I might have stayed where I went to school. But now all I feel is trapped in this oven, and due to the current economy, I don't see my surroundings changing any time soon (sorry, Mother-in-law, I did so hope to be in the South East by this time).

I'm trying so hard to ignore the actual temperature outside, and cranking my AC down to freezing (take that, environmentalist whacko's) and burning pumpkin spice candles as fast as they will melt down, but it just isn't working. Perhaps my sister-in-law would be so kind as to forward me her Pumpkin Bread recipe.

At least sweet baby William is nice and cool in the 98.6 degree heat of my womb. Happy 5 months post creation. Everything appears to be coming along nicely in there - so keep up the great work! And I will do my best to get us moved somewhere more to my likings... like the North Pole.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

{eff you, AZ.}

Have you ever heard the saying, "When it rains, it pours?" Guess what, internet, it totally does.

As if there wasn't already enough going wrong in my universe, yesterday morning started off pleasantly enough with a quick stop at my favorite place ever, QT {aka, quiktrip} for a fillup.

Insert debit card. "Please see cashier." Huh? Insert debit card once again. "Please see cashier." Now wait just a minute. I know I have money in there. Grumble Grumble Grumble. QT sometimes has issues with their banking system, so I run down the street to the ghetto Circle K and try to fill up there. "Please see cashier." AGHHHHH!

{now, Josh asked me why I didn't just go in to see the cashier at this point, but I knew they wouldn't be able to tell me anything good - just that my card wasn't working for some reason, or that maybe there was a terrorist attack that brought down Visa's system... or something}

So I go to my office, bring up my bank's website, and try to log in to see what on earth is going on. Except, oh wait, my bank's online banking site is down. And after some further research, it turns out it has been down close to 12 hours at this point. Aghh, relief. It isn't me. It is them! Apparently my bank's ATM's are still working, so after I leave work I stop by a branch to pull some cash out so I can fill up my car. I pull through the drive-thru to use the ATM. The ATM can not read my card. Again, I swipe it. No go. Oh my god, this is getting ridiculous.

You know, this story is getting long, so I'll try to shorten it. I go into the bank to talk to a banker.

Per banker, the reason my debit card is not working is because the debit cards were cancelled by their levy department. Yes, Levy department. Apparently a levy has been placed on our account. He doesn't know why, and directs me to that department. Per the Levy department, the Arizona Department of Revenue submitted legal paperwork for the Levy, and I will have to call them to get it released. Per the Arizona Department of Revenue, I didn't pay my 2009 State Taxes. But, oh wait, the chick on the line DOES see money sitting in our account unapplied - money that has been earmarked for a 2010 estimated tax payment. I am looking at copies of the check (front and back) that I sent in April - and clear as day on the front "2009 Arizona State Taxes" are written. Oh, did I mention that I included a voucher (provided by THEM!) along with the check to show what the funds were for.

But but but - they still won't release the levy because the amount sitting unapplied doesn't cover the amount we owe. You see, because my payment that was due in April hasn't been paid yet, I was charged a late fee, so the amount owed is higher than the amount in the account. Nevermind that it was THEIR ERRROR that caused all this. I'm told that the burden of proof rests with me - I have to fax copies of the checks, copies of the voucher and a letter stating what happened and how I want my funds applied.

So, in the mean time, my bank has the funds that AZ Department of Revenue request on "hold" and our debit cards have been cancelled, and the AZ Department of Revenue will not release the levy until I either send in the $7.00 late fee so the full amount is paid, or they get the $200.18 from the bank.

Yes, that is right, internet, the Arizona Department of Revenue placed a levy on my checking account for $200.18. Once the $200.18 is satisfied by either me sending in the late fee or them receiving the amount from the bank, they will release the levy on my account and refund the overage back to me.

So, yeah. Screw you government. Screw you AZ. And screw you bank (big national bank) that added insult to injury by taking a $100.00 fee for processing the Levy paperwork. I hate you all. I'm leaving the bank for sure. I'm going to leave AZ as soon as I can.

/grumble. /cry.

I'm still working to resolve all this, but hopefully all will be ironed out by Friday. No, relatives, we don't need you to western union us money, and Josh just might explode if anyone calls to ask him any questions about this, as a warning :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

{success is not final, failure is not fatal}

It is the courage to continue that counts. -Winston Churchill

I really wasn't attempting to mislead any of my two readers when I said I would be blogging again. I had every intention of opening my blogger editor each day to document, document, document. Capture every moment digitally in one way or another, and all that jazz. Alas, August happened. Frickin' August.

I won't go into the insane details, but here are the basics in a convenient bullet point list:

*Dad almost dies
*Dad is hospitalized
*Hospital spends great deal of time attempting to discharge my father before he is a)awake, b)coherent, c)feeding himself, d)going to the bathroom on his own. Oh yeah, and they still hadn't exactly figured out what was wrong.
*I spend agonizing hours fretting over the fate of my father, and hoping the hospital doesn't just roll my father out in a wheelchair into the busy street.
*Dad is finally "approved" for rehabilitative services (now that he is cooperating by being "awake.")
*Dad is moved to rehab, and when he finally "comes to", none of the staff determine that it might be important to let this man know WHY he is here at the rehab center.
*Dad promptly proceeds to call 911 several times because he is being held against his will (who gave him a phone, anyway?)
*I finally give Dad the breakdown on what happened, where he was, where he went, and what it means for the rest of his life. He finally agrees to stop behaving like a child and take his meds and eat his food. But, only if I bring him cigarettes.

Somewhere in between all the madness, we found out that we are having another boy! Hooray for brothers! Mikey is thrilled with the "libble brudder" in my belly, and when prompted for what his name should be, he has advised us SEVERAL times that the baby's name is "Dean-two-nine." Or DiDi. I mean, I was kinda leaning towards Liam (short for William), but Dean-two-nine does have a nice ring to it.

In other news, it is September in Arizona, which usually means slightly cooler weather, but we've pretty much had triple digit days so far, including one gloriously horrific day when it was 113 outside with 40% humidity. AJ's still doesn't have their extremely seasonal Honey Crisp apples (which are like 4.99 a pound, but I do not care!). All in all, the stars are aligning to plot against me, but it doesn't matter, because my father is going to be ok.