Friday, December 2, 2011

Back to the end of the line

This is it. Today is my last day officially tied to a customer at my company. After today, my accounts will all be reassigned to their new owners, and I will be left with a small amount of loose ends to be tied up neatly. For so many years now, my identity as an employee has been tied to my ability to manage relationships on behalf of my company. I was pretty stinkin' good at it, too. I hadn't anticipated the web I had spun for myself in my cozy cubicle at work would be torn apart.

Overwhelmingly, I'm in awe of our good fortune. Josh and I have often thought about finding a church, and felt the invisible tug of something bigger than the both of us pulling us in that direction. All of this, all lining up so perfectly, all pointing us in the direction of home, has made us realize that one of the first things we need to do upon arrival is find a church. I really do like to think it was Mikey and I praying nightly before bed, asking God to please watch over everyone near and dear to us. Seriously, ask, and ye shall receive? Isn't that how it goes? I mean, I wasn't asking God to get Josh and I laid off so we could move to SC, but that sure seems to be His answer. We didn't even question it for more than a minute. It was like some long illuminated road was suddenly stretching across the country, especially meant for us to cross over. I can take a hint, God. I hope God has been equally kind to everyone we prayed for. Granted, it was a long list, but Mikey has a big heart and he included almost everyone in his tiny little world.

But aside from the amazing awesomeness and doors that are suddenly opening for us, I am suddenly faced with the reality of this whole job situation. Oh, shiz, I don't have a job! Eeeek!

What do I really do all day? It suddenly feels quite intangible. I have customers. Not just people that randomly reach me on an 800# (although that does happen from time to time), but small business owners that I have been assigned to. I've had to nurture and develop relationships with these people - understand their needs, and ultimately try to anticipate what they might want before they asked. But how do you put that down on paper? My resume looks FANTASTIC (in my humble opinion) but when I try to look at it from the perspective of the employer, I'm underwhelmed. I wish I had some hard skills, a mountain of certificates, degrees in engineering, some transferable skill I could move from this position to the next with absolute certainty.

So many people are miserable in their work. I have lived for many years with someone who hated their job. Josh getting laid off was truly a gift from above. It has been a long time since I've seen him so dang relaxed, even with having to take care of two screaming babies all day while I'm at the office still. But, I loved my job. I could have done what I was doing every day for the rest of my life. I loved talking to people - I loved the new challenges that popped up. I loved the great opportunities working for a company like GE afforded me. I came to work happy, I left work happy. I didn't bring any of the bullshit home with me - I left it right where it belonged. Sure, I had my stressful days like anyone does, but they were few and far between.

And, today is my last day. I'll still be in the office for a few days winding down, but the important part of my job will officially be gone. I wanted to mark this moment, and I look forward to writing a new post, hopefully a day in the near future, jazzed out of my mind about the great new job I have landed. I'm scared, but I'm hopeful.