Sunday, April 19, 2009

Because Volunteering is Good For the Human Spirit...

One is not born into the world to do everything but to do something.
-Henry David Thoreau, poet, writer, philosopher

Last week, my company announced an across the board salary freeze for an unspecified amount of time. During the small team meeting we had where my manager broke the news, the feeling in the room was almost one of humor and relief. We all agreed that a salary freeze was better than a salary reduction (like many of my friends have experienced recently). We talked about possible layoffs in the future. A co-worker of mine asked if they would be accepting volunteers for layoffs. My manager indicated that yes, they would certainly entertain that.

On Friday, during our team meeting (if you can, read between the lines) my manager talked about how our whole portfolio is shrinking, and how every account manager has FAR fewer accounts than we did a year ago. He happened to have the list of the amount of accounts and size of our portfolio in dollars on hand. Wouldn't you know it, I have the smallest number of accounts and the smallest portfolio in millions.

Husband and I have been mulling over this possibility for weeks... months really. Could we make it without my income? On Thursday night, I finally proved it to him by putting it all in a spreadsheet. With my lump severance pay, we would be able to pay off ALL the credit card debt. Of course we would have to contend with my student loan payment still, but with the new IBR program the payment on my student loans will be greatly reduced! But, I figured that all said and done after all our bills are paid, we will have $1,000.00 per month for living expenses such as groceries, toiletries and other items that are needed as they come up (clothes for the baby, for example). Oh, and in case you are wondering, we will also be able to keep our house - we wouldn't have to walk away or anything like that.

With that in mind, we took the plunge! Well, I took the plunge. And actually, I haven't plunged anywhere just yet. I merely notified my boss that I was preemptively raising my hand. I volunteered to be first in line to get laid off.

I thought I might pee my pants as I typed out the words, and almost didn't hit send a 1000 times. But, then I thought about how I'm paying another woman to spend all day with my son. I thought about how sad it makes me that he loves her so much after spending the day with her (and yes, I realize this is infinitely better than him crying and hating every minute he spends with her). I panic thinking that he might crawl, or walk, or utter his very first word to her. I realized that although it didn't start out as my dream, being a stay at home mom has turned into a dream for me. I want to watch my sweet baby evolve into an adorable toddler, a lovable child. I want to teach him about the alphabet, and the consitution, and music and math. I want those crazy weirdo homeschooled children to be MY children!

So, anyway - this all means precisely nothing. If my company isn't doing any more layoffs, then me volunteering for a non-existant reality is not getting me anywhere. On the other hand, it might be months and months before the company does downsize again. I've heard of crazier things though. A friends Uncle offered to voluntarily be laid off, and he had his package within 1/2 an hour. Perhaps my boss will take my offer to HR and I might find myself a stay at home mom as early as next week! Either way, I will keep you informed...

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On to my exciting weekend! Rather, my not exciting weekend! I haven't had such a fantastic weekend in months! Husband and I poked around the house, didn't see anyone or do anything all day Saturday. Then, on Sunday, we ran ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE running errands and buying ludicrous quanties of baby stuff. Please see pictures as evidence:



And my sweet chub-a-lub is 16 weeks old!



Oh my! I can't believe it. I'm almost done counting weeks, lol (it is getting difficult to figure out how many weeks old he is, ha ha). We celebrated by eating apple sauce in our brand new high chair.



And then passing out. *sigh* he is adorable.



And, as promised, her is my little sister Mariel and her sweet baby girl, Alex:







Have a wonderful week everyone!