How does your garden grow?

My garden/yard is a hot mess. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but there are wild onions growing in my flower bed in the front yard. Oh, and those gorgeous, delicate purple flowers growing like crazy all over, well, they are actually weeds (go figure). One of the neat things about moving to SC after being a desert dweller for so long is learning the names of all these damn plants/trees/shrubs/bushes. Here is a sampling of what is in our yard, as captured a few weeks ago. I'll have to drag the camera out again this weekend to show you what it looks like now that things are really kicking into high gear with flowering.

 {I'm told these are called Lenten Roses}

 {Uh... uh... uh... I don't know}

 {That fine architecture right there is my next door neighbors 2 story guest house apartment/meth lab}

 {Monkey grass abounds! It is like the crab grass of SC, but meaner, and people. do. it. on. purpose}

 {This might be an Iris.. or a Lily... or something else. How am I supposed to know? Pa-in-law knows...}

 {Oh oh oh... I know this one... it is a... no wait, Dogwood are trees}

 {Delicate purple weeds, strangled by monkey grass}

 {I think these are the branches of oak trees, but it could be one of the 700 dogwood trees in the front}

{I think I finally remember... is this a Hydrangea???}

 {errr... I don't even remember... I already called something else an Azalea, so yeah...}

 {Dogwoods, in a busted @$$ flowerbed, frought with peril, and purple weeds}

 {No clue... ficus? maybe? I don't know...}

 {All I know is, don't eat the berries!}

 {Those are all Iris's.. or Lily's, or Tulips, or something...}

 {Monkey Grass, part 2}

 {More Lenten Roses}

 {Yellow flower bush thing... we totally had those in AZ, and they drove the bees wild!}

 {More beautiful purple weeds}

 {This might be the most impressive flower bed of all in our backyard horror story}
{No, really, I'm convinced that a snake lives in there}

 {Look at it sideways... Snake city, I'm tellin' ya!}

 {Oh, eff... not another one. WTF are you? And why do you have red berries, too?}

{I finally googled "Purple Weeds" and got a bunch of pictures of Michael Phelps... still no idea what these weeds are called. I'll just call you Phelps Flowers...}

Someday I'll figure my yard out. Someday, after I burn the mountain of leaves, hack back the monkey grass, extract the hidden snakes, and weed the wild onions. The Phelps Flower can stay.