Thursday, May 10, 2012

Balance...

Lately, I'm finding myself struggling with balancing the various aspects of my life. Between work and the kids, I find that I have little time for my husband, myself, or my home. I'm guessing that most people struggle with this, but from my seat it would appear that certain people really have their acts together. My friend Valerie is one of those people that just seem to have it together. I think about her a lot... I wonder about how she does it all, and doesn't lose her mind. She is the closest example I have of what I could be achieving, but most days I'm not even sure if I'll have time to brush my hair before leaving for work. On the other hand, I distinctly recall a conversation with Valerie where she mentioned stopping by a drug store on her way into work because she forgot to put on makeup that morning. In my book, that is serious dedication to your co-workers. 

I just started my new job 6 weeks ago, and I already find myself falling into the trap of a bare face and pony tail. Eating crappy. Feeling crappy. Letting the house go by the wayside. Those boxes in the formal living room are calling my name, begging to be unpacked. In AZ, I would go years without letting this kind of thing bother me before I'd kick it into high gear and do my makeup for a week or so before falling off the bandwagon. I'm not trying to insult anyone here, but for the most part my old co-workers weren't exactly glamorous. There were a few people in my office that cared about their appearance, but there were also a lot of frumpy guys and gals. Alas, there is something about living in the South that constantly reminds me of how dowdy I look. Women won't walk out their front door here without their face on. Just today I was at the bank, watching the people in their cars in the drive-thru, and feeling very uncomfortable with my situation. And then of course I think "What is the point of putting nice jewelry on when your body looks this way? Do you want to attract attention to your round face?" 

It is a battle, people. Kind of a dumb battle. Sometimes I sit at my desk and long to be like "those" people that just have it all together. But then deep down I know that this shit doesn't come easily to anyone. Even for the folks that have a natural tendency to stay on top of things, that tendency doesn't do them any good if they sit on the couch and wish things would happen. I guess that some people just have to try. Hard. I'm one of them. The only solution I can think of right now is to set my alarm clock for 1/2 an hour earlier to buy myself the extra time I need to get ready in the morning. I might have to part ways with my beloved Bill O'Reilly after the kids go to bed so I can spend more time working on the bills, the budget, the chores, or even just spending time blogging (you know things are getting bad when you can't even find time for one of your favorite hobbies). 

I'm not quite 30 yet. I had hoped that I would have it all figured out by then, but I'm certainly not going to figure anything out if I don't stop behaving like a lazy child. If I all of a sudden start looking like I've got it all figured out based on my blog posts, remember this post. It isn't easy for me, either. I'm just going to start trying.