Sunday, March 15, 2009

Before I'm Dead...

I've been listening to a lot of the Kidneythieves lately. I wonder why they never made another album after 2003?

So, I turn 26 tomorrow. Not exactly a milestone birthday, but for some reason it has me a little bummed. I've never been so NOT excited about a birthday in my life. My friend at work is convinced that I'm developing a late case of the baby blues, but I just think I'm tired and struggling with working out this whole working mother thing. I know there are super moms out there who can do it all with a smile on their face, but I'm feeling frazzled and just plain tuckered out.

A big problem for me is letting my husband help. I just do everything. I'm perfectly capable of rolling over and pushing the husband out of bed to do the rare middle of the night feeding, but I just do it. I could ask for a lot more help, and he would happily give it, but I sort of have this idea that it is easier to just do everything myself rather than take the time to split up the responsibilities.

*Also* I secretly cherish staring at my sweet boys face when he is eating, or just needing snuggles, so I'm creating my own struggles with my selfishness.

Anyway, each year on my birthday I usually start a slew of projects based in self improvement (most do this at New Years... I wait for my birthday for some reason).

At the top of my list is getting back into shape. Preferably not the shape of a circle. Husband and I will both be doing a program called PSMF (protein sparing modified fast) which I will write more about in a later post.

Also near the top of my list is my continuing effort to get organized and be a good mom and wife, which I will also write more about in another post.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!