Sunday, January 27, 2008

Wine and Sweethearts...

Well, my week away from the world has finally ended. I know it seems ridiculous, but I just wasn't up to seeing anyone. I've had an amazing week doing nothing but hanging out at the house in my pajama's. Oh, I've got the brand new computer up and running, too, and it is running fabulously I might add. I've got 320 GB of hard drive just begging to be filled up with music, pictures and movies.

Anyway, this last week has been a week of doing things that I don't normally get to do. For example, on Wednesday, I curled up with a bottle of Wanderlust Cream Ale and some cheetoh's and read "French Women Don't Get Fat." Do you know what their secret is? They don't eat cheetoh's and drink Wanderlust Cream Ale. Upon realizing this, I immediately switched back to red wine and sweethearts. You know - sweethearts - those conversational hearts that are tart and crunchy instead of chalky, and they only come out around Valentines day? Yeah, those. Can I say that red wine and sweethearts do not really compliment one another.

Other things I did this week? Well, I fed myself absolutely horrible food. Like Kraft Easy Mac. Yum! Actually, things I normally forbid myself from eating were open season this week. Why? Because I deserved it. Because I lost two babies. My two babies. I don't know - for some reason I felt like I could pretty much do anything I wanted and no one had better look at me twice for it. Other terrible things I did this week included completely ignoring my email, avoid friends and family and hiding under a rock for 7 days.

I guess I had better knock it off. Even though the miscarriage is still in progress, I don't really feel that I can continue on with the moping and hiding. I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to focus on the next pregnancy. I'm trying to remember that life carries on and everything happens for a reason. I'm trying to remember that I have to work tomorrow, and I really should put the wine away. And the sweethearts.

I've determined that I had better get back to my crazy diet. That crazy diet that demands I eat nothing but fat free chicken and low carb veggies. I need to lose this pregnancy weight. You know, so I can get pregnant again, lol. So - goodbye wine, and goodbye sweethearts, and hello chicken in a can and chopped up bell peppers. And hello size 6 and 8 pants.

And, after a week of mourning my loss, bye bye, sweet babies.

And, after a week of depressing music - how about a few songs that are a little more upbeat.